I think we can all agree that men are babies when they are sick.
So when my husband, Shayne, called me on Friday saying he thought he had food poisoning, I figured what he really meant was that he had a tummy ache and maybe felt like throwing up. Illnesses are always exaggerated with men. A sniffle or cough means they have bronchitis, and a sore throat automatically amounts to strep throat. A fever?! You must have swine flu, or possibly a life threatening super bug. Whatever it is, it must leave them on the brink of death. So when he told me he was considering going to the ER I automatically rolled my eyes and cringed at the thought of an ER bill for a tummy ache (and with no insurance, mind you). Instead of feeling sorry for him, I proceeded to nag him about the two parking tickets he got in the mail that day, and the conversation ended with him saying he didn’t feel good and didn’t want to be bitched at, and then me hanging up on him. I know, I’m such an awesome wife. *Insert eye roll here*
A few hours later he called back to let me know that the doctor was thinking he had appendicitis, but they were waiting the results of some sort of scan to be sure. Still, I thought he was over reacting and that he’d be sent away when the test came back showing nothing. After all, he didn’t even have a fever. And I was still mad that I didn’t get to finish lecturing him on the parking tickets, but if he was at the ER it could wait until later, and then I could also chastise him for wracking up a hospital bill.
After dinner, he called to let me know that he was getting ready to go into surgery and that he wanted me to get to the hospital as soon as I could. Apparently he did in fact have appendicitis, but they had caught it early, so that’s why he didn’t have a fever yet. I was starting to feel a little bad about the parking ticket thing. He really was sick!
I went to the hospital and just missed seeing him before he went in for surgery, which was really disappointing. My husband has never been under anesthesia or been hospitalized ever, so I knew he would be nervous and wanted me there with him. Luckily his friend Bryan was there too, and he filled me in on the details of the ER visit and what the doctor had said. I guess while they were discussing the surgery, Shayne mentioned that he had a hernia and joked that the doctor should just take care of that while he was at it. He’d had a hernia for about 6 months or so and was just dealing with it- it wasn’t considered an emergency and since we’re uninsured we couldn’t really afford to do anything about it at the time. (Moving was really fun when your husband can’t lift anything!) I laughed at the idea of hitting two birds with one stone and, but said that it would be really cool if the doctor could do that. I guess we’d see!
When the surgeon finally came out he told me that the surgery went well, the appendix was inflamed and removed, and that he also took care of his hernia while he was in there. Call it a 2-for-1 deal, he said. I couldn’t believe he actually did it! The only thing was, while he was removing the hernia with a thin, hooked needle, part of the needle broke off. So they spent an extra 45 minutes digging around to make sure that they got every fragment of metal out of his body. The doctor said Shayne would be extra sore and that his belly button would look pretty gnarly for a little while, since that’s where they “went in” to get the hernia. Ouch. I was a little weirded out after hearing about the broken needle thing, but things happen- and at least the hernia was gone. What a huge relief and blessing for us!
So this is how I spent my Thursday night:
My original plan for the night was to blog, put the kids to bed, and watch Grey’s Anatomy while I did my nails. Instead, I got to sleep on two cozy little hospital chairs pushed together in a room we had to share with an 80 year old man named Bill. He was there to have his prostate removed and had been there for 5 days. No one came to stay overnight with him and I felt bad- Bill was a pretty nice guy, but he snored really loudly.
The 15 minutes of shut eye that I got didn’t make for a very fun night, but I didn’t want to complain since my husband had just been sliced open and was on a morphine drip. (Which, btw, I had to wrestle the morphine drip button out of his hands a few times so that I could stop his whining and just click the dang thing for him! This is no time to try to act tough…just take the meds!)
The rest of the weekend was pretty much a blur for me, as I spent most of it doing everything for everyone. I’m used to it with the kids, but with my invalid husband added to the mix I felt like ripping my hair out a few times. My butt and thighs should be looking great though with all of the stairs I did going from the bedrooms to the kitchen!
I couldn’t be happier when Monday morning arrived and the kids went back to school. I think Shayne will be going back to work possibly tomorrow, and then I can get back to doing a few things for myself. I never did DVR that Grey’s episode and my nails still need to be done.
Today I’m saying TGIA- Thank God for Appendicitis. Otherwise, who knows how long my poor husband would have had to suffer with that dang hernia. Now, once he’s fully healed, he won’t have an excuse for not helping me carry the groceries in. I better put him back to work!
Oh, and check out this cute comic Ayden made for his daddy. It’s seriously hilarious!